Vayetze: Rusty Spotted Cars

Bereishit: 30: 31-43

Once in the town of Totowa there lived a used car salesman named Marv Rabinowitz. Marv hadn't always planned to be a used car salesman (who does?). When he finished high school he had dreams of being a musician. He loved to play the piano, and he was marvelous on the saxophone. But he met a girl, and one thing led to another, and the next thing he knew he was married with a small child and needed to support his family.

His father-in-law Lenny Veiner was kind enough to set him up with a job at his car dealership, Merkava Motors. Lenny had a Chevrolet franchise on the north side of Union Boulevard and a used car lot on the south side. Marv started as a mechanic at the used car lot, refurbishing the cars that were brought in so that they could be resold. Over the years he worked his way up to sales, and by the time he was with the Merkava Motors operation for seven years, he had become the floor manager and chief salesman of the used car emporium (there were only two salespeople, him and Richy Rosenblatt, who had been at the job for thirty years and had worn the same powerful cologne every day of those three decades).

Marv did not plan to spend the rest of his days cooped up in the small sales office with the ever aromatic Richy  Rosenblatt, on the south side of the street.  He had plans. But whenever he asked his father in law if he could move across Union Boulevard to the north side to sell the shiney new Chevrolets, he was rebuffed.

"Be patient, Marvin," Lenny would say, "these things take time."

But Marv strongly suspected that his time would never come. And as he watched younger, less qualified salepeople climbing the Merkava corporate ladder, he knew things had to change.

One day he went to his father-in-law and tendered his resignation.

Lenny was flabbergasted. "Marv, I'm flabbergasted,," Lenny said, chomping on his cigar. "You're one of my most valued employees, but more importantly, you're mishpocha! What can I do to make you happy?"

"I would like to manage the floor of the Chevy showroom," Marv said.

"That's out of the question," Lenny said. "Manny Leibowitz has been the manager there for twenty years, and he's always said that the only way he's leaving is in a pine box in the back bed of a Chevy Silverado 2500-- you know, the one with the fancy midgate. Is there anything else that would make you happy?"

Marv thought for a moment. "I'll stay on part time at the Merkava used car lot, but I want to start up a place of my own. I'll tell you what, Dad. You give me all the worst cars on the used lot. You know, the ones that have been sitting around for years, or the models you're thinking of selling for scrap. I'll buy them for their wholesale book value and see if I can sell them on my own."

"Marv, bubbie, that's suicide," Lenny protested. "It'll never work." But Lenny was already calculating how much money he could make if he unloaded all his worst Chevy cars on Marv.

"Still, I'd like to try," Marv said.

Lenny pretended to consider the offer for a few minutes, much like car salesmen do when they claim they're going back to their manager's office to consider the buyer's second counteroffer after they have hondeled for a while, but Marv knew he had a deal. Lenny shook Marv's hand and the negotiation was done.

There has never been a sadder group of old Chevrolet cars than those that arrived at Marv's new lot on Main Street in Little Falls, three miles south of Merkava Motors in Totowa. There were Impalas from the eighties, Caprice Classics from the nineties. There were Novas, Vegas, Astro Vans, Chevettes, Citations, Blazers. Most were rusted or dented. Few were in any condition to be sold. Marv just smiled.

All his years reconditioning cars finally paid off for Marv. He did everything possible to get the cars in the lot back to smooth running condition. When he was finally satisfied with his results, he put up the sign for his new business.

LEMON MOTORS

It was a huge sign, fifty feet off the ground, and it was in the shape of a giant lemon.

All of Little Falls came to look at the giant sign. And everyone who was looking for a really good deal on  a really cheap car came to see Marv. For despite being a used car salesman for many years, he was an honest man, and people can tell these things. They bought cars for their children who needed value oriented transportation to drive around town. They bought former wrecks as commuter cars. They bought junkers that they considered vintage. Marv made a killing.

Not only did Marv do well with the cars he sold, but people started bringing him their old clunkers for him to purchase. Soon his lot was full of glorious old rust speckled, fender bent cars. Even Fords and Chryslers began appearing in his lot, and an occasional Toyota and Honda made an appearance.

So just as Yakov avinu made a killing on speckled and spotted sheep and goats, Marv profited from the automotive rejects of American society. For an honest man can make a living whatever he does.

And as for Lenny Veiner and Merkava Motors, they learned to manage without Marv. After all, if you own a rock solid business like a General Motors dealership, what can possibly go wrong?

Comments

[Toby]

This is award wining!

[Aunty Rashi]

We're Marv's best customers.Haven't bought a new car in 25 years...

[Aharon Moshe Sanders]

Oh what a brave new world we are now entering into. I enjoyed your post, especially since I am currently in the market for a used car! You definitely connected two things that I might have thought would have never been connected before.

Well, they might have said it never could have been done. Who would have thought the anwer would be so simple.

Yes, We Can!

My blogspot profile can be found at:

http://www.blogger.com/profile/12863598375561081872

Yes! Its something to cut and paste.

[Van Sales]

I visited this blog first time and found it very interesting and informative.. Keep up the good work thanks..