Shemot: 7-9
Esther Weinblatt was one of the most creative teachers at the Nachmanides School, and she encouraged originality in all her third grade students. Every Friday a boy or girl in her class was chosen to give the dvar Torah on the weekly parsha, and the more imaginative the presentation, the better Mrs. Weinblatt liked it.
Rachel Gordon spoke about parshat Vayeshev while dressed in a multicolored ketonet hapasim that she had made herself with patches of felt. Zack Rosen expounded on Toledot while covered in some weird, thick, red hair-like substance that shed all over the classroom and the school maintenance crew was still cleaning up when the class was already learning about Vayechi. With the help of her father, Yafit Danishevsky told about Vayetzei while laying on the floor under a stepladder covered in angels (actually American Girl dolls with cellophane wings).
For parshat Va'eira, everyone in the class knew they were in for a treat. Noam Abrams was the featured Friday speaker-- he had requested this parsha months in advance-- and Noam was an amateur magician. What better Torah portion could there be for a magician than Va'eira? There were plagues galore. And from what Mrs. Weinblatt had heard, Noam was planning a serious show. It was his first performance in front of an audience larger than his parents, his little sister Avigayil, and his dog Charoset.
On the day of Noam's debut, the class finished davening , reviewed their Hebrew language homework, and then settled into their seats for the parshat hashavua extravaganza. Noam came out in a flowing white robe, presumably that of Moshe Rabbeinu, and a top hat. His friend Danny Werblowsky sat grandly, if somewhat stiffly, in Mrs. Weinblatt's chair wrapped in a blue sheet and wearing a crude gold headdress. Mrs. Weinblatt assumed he was to play Pharaoh.
Every great magician has to start somewhere. Harry Houdini did not dangle above his fourth grade class bound in chains and perform a death defying escape. Most likely little Harry began by pulling a coin from behind someone's ear. And David Copperfield probably thrilled his grade school peers with a long length of streamers that he pulled from his mouth (which he had ordered from an advertisement he saw in the back of a magazine). Sawing a woman in half was still years in the future.
Noam Abrams was not yet where they began, not even close. But we all have to start somewhere.
A hush fell over the classroom as Noam waved the arms of his flowing robe and began speaking with a flourish.
"Pharaoh," Noam said, "I am Moshe. Let my people go."
"No, no, no, I will not let them go," Danny retorted.
Noam stared at Danny, waiting for his next line, but it was not forthcoming.
"Perhaps you want a sign that Hashem is all powerful," Noam said.
"Yes, yes," Danny agreed. "Show me a sign that your god is powerful."
Noam reached into his sleeve and pulled out his magic wand.
"Behold," Noam said. He struck the solid wand against Mrs. Weinblatt's desk and it became rubbery. "My staff has become a tanin, a snake.
The class clapped, and Noam bowed subtley.
"Very nice," Danny said dismissively, "but I still won't let your people go."
It was then that Noam's art of prestidigitation began to unravel.
"If you do not let my people go, I will unleash a plague upon all of Egypt."
Noam reached for a cup of water that was on the desk, but he was so nervous it slipped from his hands and spilled across the table top. Mrs. Weinblatt was quick to clean up the puddle with paper towels, and she quickly dispatched Rivka Barsky to refill the cup.
"As I was saying," Noam continued in true show business form (never let them see you sweat), "I will unleash a plague upon your people." Noam produced a small pill from his ample sleeve and dropped it into the glass of water, which promptly turned red, if you looked at it real hard and from just the right angle.
Wild applause from the crowd.
"Blood!" Danny said. "Impressive trick, but I still won't let your people go. Ha, ha, ha!" he cackled gleefully.
"Oh really?" Noam made a sweeping motion with his hand, and a bevy of ping pong balls came flying out. From the look on Noam's face, Mrs. Weinblatt surmised that this trick was not scripted-- clearly the hail had arrived too early. As Noam leaned forward to pick up the balls, his top hat flew from his head, causing a large green frog to leap forward from his chapeau and jump toward Rachel Gordon, who appeared less than pleased. Noam stopped chasing the ping pong balls and went after the frog.
Mrs. Weinblatt decided to intervene before the inevitable lice made their appearance.
"That was wonderful, Noam," she said. "Let's have a round of applause for Noam and Danny."
"But I'm not done," Noam said, having retrieved his frog and replaced his tophat on his head. "I still have the wild beasts, and the boils."
"No, that's O.K. I think we get it, Noam."
"But--"
"You know, Noam, Hashem created the makot, the plagues, because the Egyptians needed to learn about His strength in order to agree to release their Jewish slaves. Also, the Israelites were on such a low level spiritually after their many years of slavery that they needed miracles to help them believe. But we have the Torah to guide us. We don't need miracles to help us believe in Hashem.
"Our forefathers and foremothers, Avraham, Yitchak, and Yakov, Sarah, Rivka, Rachel, and Leah, had nothing like the plagues or the splitting of the sea to help them believe. They just had their pure, simple faith.
"So your demonstrations of the plagues were very impressive, and I'm sure the other tricks you had in store for the class would also have been awe inspiring, but I think we'll just rely on our emunah and our learning of the Torah to move us forward, and leave it at that."
And so Noam took one final bow and collected all his magical paraphernalia. He wanted Danny to shut off all the lights in the classroom so that he could vanish in a final moment of mystery, but Mrs.Weinblatt vetoed his dramatic exit. She still had lots to teach that day.
And besides, makat choshech, the plague of darkness wasn't until Bo, the next week's parsha. And that had to be saved for Michael Ehrlich's presentation on the following Friday.